2020 - Where to begin? I guess from the beginning…
I rang in the New Year partying in LA, along with my best friend of almost 10 years who I met freshman year of college, and some of the most influential and good-hearted people in Hollywood. On January 2nd, said bff and I visited my new billboard for IPSY and their beauty campaign “Discover Yourself” that I had modeled in. With the year off to an incredible start, I felt as if this would really “be my year!” But didn’t we all?
2020 seemed to have so much promise in elevating my career as an activist, model, and on social media. Two weeks into January however, I got my first piece of bad 2020 news. The to-be director of Queen, the feature film based on the story of me being the world's 1st openly transgender Prom Queen, had to back out. I was devastated. I felt he was the perfect person for the job; and as a strong believer in “everything happens for a reason,” it was one of those moments where I asked, “what's the reason for this?” Almost one year later, that question is still to be answered. Although we’ve now cast one of Hollywood’s most respected actresses to play my mom, the position of director is still to be determined (stay tuned for that!)
While trying to pick myself back up from this production set-back, I had been feeling for some time that we were all collectively floating in space, having a dangerous man in the oval office, and just going along with it all. We were desensitized, we were asleep.
In searching for a new director and booking multiple modeling jobs it seemed like things were about to get much better, but the Universe had something else in store for us all. As COVID-19 became more widespread, my friends and I were on our way to our favorite bi-annual music festival called CRSSD Fest in San Diego. As we partied our hearts out, the virus slowly crept up on California. That Monday on our way home we realized just how real this was becoming, but we thought it would be fleeting. A week later we went into lockdown. Collective thoughts swirled in my mind like “Two weeks staying home? Cool! A month? Sure, why not?” But two months in I had a feeling that no one would listen or take this seriously enough. Leadership is truly important, and we had lost ours. By mid-April I knew, this pandemic would last another year, at the very least.
So how in a year with so much negativity could I find any positives?
Even though at first I felt like I was hazily going through the motions of the aggressive apocalyptic roller coaster that was 2020; I learned valuable lessons that I’m not sure I would have if the series of events that took place over this year didn’t happen.
So here they are, 20 Things That 2020 Taught Me:
Black Lives Matter. It is our responsibility to right our wrongs and this needs to be our focus until equity has been achieved. Even as someone who studied systemic racism in college, I too was unaware of the true struggles people of color go through to this very moment. And trans women of color specifically need your help, like right now. These shouldn’t be political issues. We have to stand up for our co-inhibitors. Everyone should be equal and be given the same opportunities, and that’s simply not currently happening.
Survival of the fittest came out in full form this year. We have to adapt to new ways of life in order to stay healthy in our minds, bodies, and souls. It’s important to be able to pivot both professionally and personally and “roll with the punches'' as they say. I went from modeling in campaigns to modeling Instagram paid posts. Social media money is good money, but I realized how little I enjoyed being an “influencer” or “content creator." In order for me to change the perceptions of transgender women on a global scale, I decided to open myself up to acting; and I LOVE it.
Friendships change, even the ones that have lasted literal decades.Some actions/opinions you can get over, and some you can't. Some relationships can get to the point of no return and some become stronger through disagreements, open conversation, and learning more about one another. Those who you can evolve with are the ones worth keeping around. Those whose fundamental values and morals don’t match yours aren't worth your energy. It’s okay to grow out of people and relationships.
Don’t be afraid to make your dreams come true, it’s what got me to this point. If you want something you’ve got to ask for it! Get after it, don’t stop until you've achieved your goal, and then push yourself even further.
Stop doing things you don’t want to do. If something isn’t a “fuck yes” it’s a “fuck no!”
Human contact is crucial. Technology will never be able to replace the feeling of being in-person. I became deeply grateful for this, as did most of us, when the fad of apps like House Party, Zoom, and “virtual” everything became not enough to fulfill our needs.
Alone time is as important as quality time spent with those closest to you.
We can all always do and be better. Work on yourself, it's the only way to be truly successful. It’s okay to lose yourself and come back to yourself. It's okay to have down time and to be down, allow yourself to feel. It’s also okay to not know who you are and be on a journey of discovering yourself!
Getting dressed and ready for the day really does make a huge impact on your mood, look good for yourself! I spent wayyy too many months wearing the same track suits and PJs. As fall came around and I started getting dressed more my mental health increasingly improved.
Taking a walk with fresh air is one of the most beautiful gifts of life, and I never fully took advantage of it, so let’s take advantage of it in the future. (But for now please wear a mask even if “no one is around”)
It’s crucial that we frequently take deep breaths and have faith that in time everything will be okay, because it will, eventually.
Life is short and unpredictable, so be YOU. Do what makes YOU happy! And with that, post whatever and whenever you want on social media (a lesson I'm currently re-learning for myself)
Care more about people and the planet. Everyday we should consider our carbon footprint, how we travel, where we buy our food and clothes, etc from. Each of us contribute to this and each of us can help improve our environment.
Yes, there is corruption and dishonesty in this world, especially in government, media, and politics - but we can’t just take people's word for it. We have to do our own research. We can’t be complacent with word of mouth or “I saw an article on…” It’s incredibly important to check sources before sharing, and to be your own investigator. Science has remained steady for decades, reminder that false news spreads faster than true news - listen to experts.
It’s important to enjoy the journey to your happiness and successes. Trust the process. And don’t compare yourself to anyone else, we’re all different and on our own paths.
It's okay to take time away from everyone. It's okay to not be in every family zoom if it's not making you happy. Yes, family is essentially the most important thing (chosen fam or not) but it's also okay to take a break from everyone.
We all have bad habits, but they can be broken! Give yourself 66 days to form a new habit or break a bad one.
We are more divided than ever, and I never realized how certain things could be debated or made to be political, but here we are. Our voice matters at all times, not just during a political election.
Words weigh heavier now both for good and for bad and at the end of the day, we all should be able to come together and compromise, but not when it comes to human rights. Listen to others, let down your guard, let go of our egos and wants and be more selfless.
Bad things can have good outcomes. We have to deal with negatives head on and not give up. We can do it. We are stronger than we know, change can be made, and it does get better.
This year was difficult. Dear friends of mine lost family and friends due to this virus. Whether you like it or not, COVID-19 is real, and it is affecting us. This shouldn't be open for debate, this shouldn't be a political issue. Masks do save lives, washing your hands is key, we shouldn’t be touching our noses/mouths (we learned this in elementary school!) This pandemic has left people immobilized, senseless, traumatized, and bankrupt. Even if you aren't scared of getting sick or think you’ll be fine if you do, we have to care about others and respect their feelings.
In my honest opinion, I feel we needed this year. We needed to be jolted out of the slumber we were all in. Although it's unfortunate we lost lives and have suffered in many ways, I think of it like when Trump took office; we woke up from it and we will hopefully grow from it. It’s time for us to evolve, come together, respect one another, and all do our own part in making this world a truly better place to live in.
Although I deeply miss being around people, hugging and kissing my grandparents, the thrill of not knowing what will happen on a night out, and getting intimate with a new guy, I remain ready for when that will all return; and I will be more grateful and thankful for those moments. I do have hope and faith that there is a glimmering light coming through a very long dark tunnel. I don’t expect the clock to strike midnight on January 1st 2021 and the pandemic to be over as fast as those murder hornets left the news cycle. I expect us to have to work hard and come together in order to beat out this virus and return to somewhat normalcy.
I want to end this on a positive note. I have a lot of new and exciting projects that I’m looking forward to bringing into fruition in 2021. Firstly, I’ve partnered with Squarespace (where this site lives) and CoreyRae.com will be getting a massive makeover! I’ll be re-launching this spring! I’ve decided to pursue my new passion of acting, and I’m looking forward to being on set for my first big role within the next few months. I’ve been working on an organization that will benefit transgender youth, and I plan on establishing With Your Wings later this year. I’m also putting out into the Universe that Queen will film and premier within this year. I’ve learned to manifest by speaking, talking, writing, and believing in something until it comes true, so here we are :)
In all the lows we will inevitably face, remember that it will get better, and that “this too shall pass.”
Here’s so a brighter, happier, healthier, more respectful, and loving New Year!
Lots of Love,
Corey Rae