August 2018 Reflections
Apologies on the post-labor day post. It’s safe to say the end of August for me was way more hectic than the beginning. This summer overall was a slow one, and the best story from this month almost didn’t happen at all.
After Lightning in a Bottle, my friend Paige and I wanted to join our festival friends at Splash House, a pool-party-music-festival held at the same three hotels each year in Palm Springs. We never bought our tickets but all summer hoped we would somehow make it happen. I gave up on the idea some time in July and had forgotten about the event once its weekend approached. That Saturday the 10th I was feeling lonely and unamused and texted her late in the afternoon to see if she wanted to go out that night. She quickly texted back saying she was going to drive down to the desert on a whim but was still in LA. I immediately called her and asked when she was leaving, she gave me 40 minutes. I had been in the middle of writing at my favorite coffee shop about a 12 minute walk from my apartment. The festival was already two days in (out of three) and Paige wanted to get there in time to go to the after hours.
I hesitated at first, wondering if I should rush myself, spend money, or even get us tickets at that point. Before going back inside the coffee shop I asked a woman awaiting her Uber if I should randomly go to the desert for a festival. Before she said yes, I realized how badly I needed to escape my writers block. I said to myself, “Fuck it, I’m going.” I quickly ran inside, packed up my laptop, hopped on a bird (those super dangerous electric scooters causing controversy all around LA), and zoomed down the street towards my place. As I was zipping down the street I almost got hit by a distracted driver and broke the strap on my favorite pair of gladiators (which Nordstrom is now working on repairing). I ran up to my apartment and I have never packed so quickly in my life; luckily I had a mini toiletries kit already prepared from LIB. I threw a bunch of new swimsuits from my previous photoshoot in a bag, grabbed some snacks, and ordered an uber to her place. From coffee shop to her apartment was a surprisingly quick 45 minutes, I couldn't contain my excitement of my spontaneity.
Our friends already had a hotel room at the main hotel, but everyone needed a wristband to enter the hotel. I knew if we couldn't get tickets I could at least see my grandparents who live in the desert. As we drove down I went to the festival official Facebook group and secured us two wristbands for the next day at an insanely low price, and after hour tickets as well. Within two hours we arrived at the Renaissance Hotel, joined our friends in their room (which was a party in full swing,) changed, primped, and left for the the after hours party.
That night, and the next 24 hours were incredibly fun. The best memory stems from Sunday night, after the pools closed, and my friend Vanessa and I crammed into the elevator with a large group of people. In it was a guy with an enormous speaker attached to his backpack. The second the elevator doors closed he started blasting music. Every one of us started to dance and as the elevator doors opened on the fourth floor (we skipped our floor in order to continue the dance party) we got into a line behind him, and for the next hour and a half, went through the halls, going from one random room to the next; invading the rooms of whoever opened their doors to the sound of our conga line dance party, and danced our hearts out. As we picked up more people along the way, and danced down a flight of stairs, we landed on the third floor, partied through those halls, and were eventually stopped by a security guard. The backpack boombox man yelled “GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT!” and we all shouted in agreement. He bumped the music, and they escorted him into an elevator. Caught up in the hype, we had an after party of our own in our hotel room, and the night went on into the early hours of the morning.
That Monday morning Paige, Vanessa, and I woke up, helped clean the room, said goodbye to our friends, and piled into Paige’s car. We couldn't help but talk about how happy we were to have gone. It affirmed what I had learned at Coachella; the greater the risk, the greater the reward. Not only did I get to see my friend from LIB by going on this impromptu trip, I was able to let loose on a weekend where I was feeling my most homesick.
As I reflect on this summer I’ve realized how completely comfortable I am with my aloneness. Through this blog and my social media presence, I hope I can help people feel the same way in those “down” times. Using my social platforms for the better, spreading all the messages I believe in and want people to know, is a great new passion of mine.
I’ve also recognized that I need to stop comparing myself to others on IG and in real life, and focus less on getting a larger following (which will in turn help me make money moves,) and focus more on the content I’m putting out and what messages I'm leaving for the world to learn from me. Someone in LA had once said to me “Oh you don't have 10K followers yet? I feel like everyone in LA has at least 10K.” It made an impact on my public self worth. I know now that I don't need a massive following to validate my worth as a person of influence, which I am. I have the ability to influence 9,000 people every day and that is an honor.
To wrap up this post, I want to announce that I have touched up my website and am expanding it past being “just a blog.” This is a site that educates and entertains, and will soon highlight inspirational, positive, unique LGBTQ+ people (and our allies) through profiles I will be writing from personal interviews I’ve conducted with them. I also have decided to open my consulting for transgender individuals on their transition, and am now taking on new humans to help. Stay tuned for the first features coming this month!
Until next time